Thursday, June 5, 2014

Every moment

I don't often talk to my mom. I'm not the person who goes out to her grave and has long conversations with her. I only occasionally tell her things, out loud or in my head, and they're mostly things like, "I miss you," and, "I love you."

But today I needed prayer. And I really wanted to call my mom and ask her to pray for me.

After crying a little bit about the fact that I can't do that anymore, I realized that I kinda can.

So I talked to her. I asked her to pray for me. I asked her to pray for me when she does her devotionals every morning, and when she falls asleep with her prayer journal on the nightstand beside her. I told her I couldn't do it without her prayers behind me, without her prayers holding me up. (And the tears kept coming, because I could picture her doing her devotionals every morning, and I could picture her prayer journal sitting on the nightstand.)

And then I heard her say, "Oh darling, I'm praying for you, every moment of every day."

And that was exactly what I needed to hear. (And exactly what sent me bawling.)

I don't know if its just what I wanted her to say in my head. Or if its God somehow speaking through my memory of my mother. I don't know, and I don't care. All I know - all I hope - is that my mom is out there, somewhere, praying for me, every moment of every day.