But now that I'm settled, I'm starting to feel the emotions I've pushed down and ignored since my mom got sick.
I had to ignore the shock when she first got sick, just so I could be with her in the hospital. I had to get rid of the fear of what this would do to her so I could cherish whatever moments I had. I had to ignore the longing for her as I remembered her before so I could be fully present with her after the stroke. I had to hide the overwhelming sadness just so I could get through the day, and so I could make her laugh as often as possible.
But now it's over. But now I have time to breathe. So now everything I put on hold is here.
Fear. Sadness. Longing. They've been delayed, but now they're gonna be here for a little while.