Exhausted

Sometimes I forget how exhausted I am. I keep going, moving, doing and it feels fine - like it did before she died.

But then I sit down. I pause. I take a minute to eat a meal. And the exhaustion overwhelms me. My eyes droop, my head is muddy, and all I want to do is sleep for weeks. 

Grief is exhausting. Sadness is exhausting. Depression is exhausting. Twenty months of non-stop working, driving, caring for my mom was exhausting. 

Rest. I need rest. But how do you rest when slowing down leads to grief which leads to exhaustion, and the depression and sadness don't go away?