Radiation is a gift we weren’t sure we’d receive. My mom was barely healed enough to go to rehab, and there was no guarantee that she’d ever be well enough to get radiation. But she improved, and she was healthy enough. And so she gets 30 days of treatment. 30 days that could keep my mom healthier for longer. 30 days that could mean extra time with my mom.
But radiation is also a curse (or whatever that saying is. A curse, something shitty, a lump of coal in your stocking. Whatever the opposite of gift is.) It sucks. Losing chunks of hair at a time, being fatigued, struggling to speak again like she was two months ago. And the trek to the hospital every day, and the whole process of getting in and out of the house, and in and out of the car. Even that basic stuff takes so much longer now than it used to.
And yet radiation is not something to take for granted, both because of its awesomeness and its crappiness. It sucks, so we want it over sooner. But it will keep my mom alive longer, so we want to get as much of it as we can (you know, without overdoing it. Hence 30 days instead of more – there’s only so much your brain can take.)
Are there days we wish we didn’t have the appointment? Days it would be nicer to just stay at home watching The West Wing in the afternoon, instead of going to the doctors? Yes. But would we ever skip the appointment, and lose that chance for as much time together as a family as possible? Absolutely not. Not for anything.
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