Some days I want to eat lots of ice cream and chocolate. Other days I don't want to eat anything at all.
Some days I cry a lot, and my mom's never far from my mind. Other days I hide and pretend, or just watch TV to help me forget.
Some days I really want to talk - to talk to people about how I'm doing, what it's like to miss her. Other days I act as if nothing's changed.
Some days I want to be taken care of - by my dad, by friends, by anyone whose willing to take the reins for a little while. Other days I want shout my independence from the rooftops and make every decision for myself.
Some moments I want to cry on a friend's shoulder. Other moments I'd rather stifle my sobs and cry on my own.
Some moments I'm really depressed, feeling nothing but deep pain. Other moments I'm reminded of life - even if it's something as simple as the smell of nectarines and the sound of MmmBop at the grocery store.
How can you tell which moment, which day I'm having? Just ask. I promise to be honest.
Great post. I've found that it depends, too, on who's asking. Some people I want to be honest/vulnerable with and others I don't. I give different answers to different people. Who's safe? Who "gets it"? Who really doesn't want to hear anything difficult?
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have agreed with this post more. Always praying for you and your mother's graceful soul.
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